Adios Pablo!
As of yesterday my port has been officially removed marking a huge milestone on this cancer journey. It was a very smooth procedure process from arriving at 0730, taken back for surgery by 0900 and home by 1200. Ryan was able to steal some time from work and was my driver since I was not allowed to drive myself (or make any legal decisions lol) for 24 hours due to the sedation & pain medications. I was very grateful for the company and he even made sure I had my favorite soup (Panera Brocolli Cheddar) and was good to go before having to head back to work. I was awake for the whole surgery, but apart from the pressure and tugging, I was fairly comfortable which was nice. Sleep quickly caught up to me despite being awake through the process because I came home and slept for five hours straight before I was conscious enough to try and eat something. Other than some lingering nausea, and some soreness/pain near my incision as the stitches heal, overall I am taking it slow and doing well.
It is slightly unsettling to think that the cancer journey is at it’s end. Don’t get me wrong, I have ZERO desire or intentions of ever going though this 2-year process again, but- as hard as it was- there was and is still something special about it. I’ve learned more about the Lord and grown in my faith in ways that I would have never experienced if it was not for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. That is something I pray I never loose.
Our guest speaker at the Thursday night service yesterday spoke about “Miracles in Motion” using the analogy of the paralyzed man on his mat that was brought before Jesus for healing, through the roof of a house by four faithful men (Mark 2: 1-12). Something that stuck with me is that after Jesus heals the paralytic man, he gives him a specific command. Surely after just being healed, the man cares nothing about his mat and wants to go and shout to the rooftops proclaiming of the miracle he experienced. But Jesus turns to him and says, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and go home!” Just like a walker, or a pair of crutches, or a cancer port- our human instinct is to toss those things aside as fast as possible because we no longer need them. But that’s not the point. Those things are our testimony. Jesus told the man to not leave his mat that he no longer needed, but to take it with him, to take the mat as a testimony to his story. The mat would only make people question more “Was this not the paralyzed man on the street we’ve seen before” and question the miraculous work of God.
Just like the speaker Jimmy Rollins said, “Miracles happen when our pain serves a greater purpose.” My prayer is that I never take my pain from the last 2 years for granted. May I never forget that this story is His testimony. May I not be quick to hide my scars but even quicker to tell what GOD DID in this season- because it really was a miracle. My scars are my mat and I don’t plan on leaving them to the way side or trying to cover them.
This blog may be ending but God’s story isn’t finished. Thank you to everyone who became a part of Ryan and I’s village along this journey. To call it a blessing is an understatement. May God Bless You!
~Jordan
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