I am used to a very different normal on Veteran's Day. Usually, I am somewhere holding a flag in a color guard, in uniform marching in a parade, in the classroom reading America's White Table to my students, or placing flags in the ground. Things I LOVE and cherish every year, especially now being an educator.
This Veteran's day did not bring ceremonies and flags, rather it brought chemo. This was the first loss I had to accept. Chemotherapy went very well, and it was a blessing to have not only Ryan around but also my mom. I was grateful that she was able to witness the process and see what my treatments entail. The God-sighting was when Ryan was stopped on his way through the cancer center by a sweet African American lady who asked, "Is your fiance Jordan?" A little confused he responded, "Yes?"
She then began to explain that she was a friend of Ms. Myrtle's (go back and read the Ms. Myrtle post if you have not already) and that Ms. Myrtle's daughter was here for her treatment. I was so excited to hear of the connection Ryan had and then even more blessed when once her daughter's treatment was done for the day, they all came by to visit me while I was finishing up treatment. So crazy that a woman I met almost 3 months ago has turned into this ongoing connection, almost like a spiritual "cancer" family that understands.
After treatment, we still did "celebrate" Veteran's day together by stopping by Applebee's. Ryan and I were able to enjoy a free meal and mom and Ryan celebrated with a few drinks of choice (I'll make up for mine on the other side of chemotherapy treatments).
The second loss I had to accept was that my birthday was not going to look the same this year. I have never been one that likes to announce my birthday and do the most grandiose celebrations, but being sick on your own birthday still hits differently no matter how much you do not like the birthday spotlight. I was very nauseous all day with a terrible "chemo-mouth" - affecting my energy and appetite and ultimately it just turned into a really bummy day. Not what I would have chosen, I at least would have wanted to go out for dinner with Ryan or something similar. But it was not all bad, Ryan and my roommates still found ways to make it special despite how I felt. This was so sweet of them. They still sang to me and lit a candle on a dessert. And, with my mom here for the weekend, I truly was grateful that the nausea level was on a 5/6 out of 10 on Friday and Saturday so that Ryan and I could show her around downtown and take her to a few special Lynchburg staples.
THANK YOU to everyone who sent me birthday wishes/gifts/kind words etc. They meant more than you know, especially this year.
The more and more I realize though is that Ryan and I are just so incredibly blessed by the family of God. The meals from our church friends and family this week have just surmounted any expectations I had, even including soup, salad, dessert, fresh bread, and flowers one night! (Peep the wedding invite in the background 😉) The Lord sure does know how to make Ryan and I feel special even in the circumstances.
Symptoms: The most lingering symptom is still nausea and more prevalent each time is the "chemo-mouth." Some call it a metallic taste, but I would equate it to the taste you have when you feel like you will be sick (almost a stomach acid taste), but don't actually get sick. The taste is honestly the culprit of the nauseous feeling most of the time and definitely affects what food and drinks taste like in a negative way.
Comments